Well, the first half of 2011 is over. Hard to believe we are already six months in, but thems be the facts. So, it is fallen to me to look back on this first half of the year and let you know what the worst movies of the year so far are. Of course, this is just my opinion, for all I know you have seen much worse films than I or would select movies that appear on my forthcoming best of the first half list. Let me also say my self imposed rules state that the only films eligible are those I saw prior to the end of June and were 2011 releases in the United States. This means that, sadly, Bad Teacher will not appear on this list, having seen it in July. Without further adieu and in roughly reverse order, here you go:
10. Season of the Witch. This movie may be watchable trash, but it is trash nonetheless. It is a movie that doesn't really feel like it knows what it wants to be. A compressed epic with dialogue and performances which don't feel like they belong there. Seems consistent with a good portion of Nicolas Cage's recent output. It is not something I would willingly recommend you put yourself through unless you know what you are in for.
9. The Hangover Part II. The first Hangover was a hilarious ride that brought together buddy comedy and mystery in a fresh mix that took the masses by storm. The sequel is more of the same, only dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. I knew going in that it was going to be the same as the first, but I did not believe it would be this disappointing and not funny.
8. Green Lantern. It's two movies in one! Unfortunately, neither one is complete. This is a movie that approaches the absurd with a light touch and a desired sincerity, but the end result fails to really take us into the world. It is ultimately a dull origin story with many bits we have seen done better in other films, while the new stuff fails to spark the imagination. Disappointing.
7. Rio. Brightly colored and strictly for the kids. This is the best way to describe this movie. It is also boring, typical, and does not treat its audience with any respect, it is like there are no brains. Yes, I understand it is kids fare, but that doesn't mean we should treat them like idiots. Unless, of course, that is what you want them to be. Is it?
6. Dylan Dog: Dead of Night. For all the potential ultimately revealed itself to be a dull and uninteresting slog. Scenes just go on and on are followed by noirish voice over from star Brandon Routh before taking us into another dull and boring scene. The exposition was sloppy, the character development wasn't there, and the story was not all that engrossing. On the plus side, the practical effects were nice. Also, Peter Stormare is quite entertaining in his limited role.
5. I Am Number Four.Twilight for guys, I guess. This movie is a mess of performance and storytelling. There is very little of either. It is a movie that defies logic. I just want to forget about it. Fortunately, that seems a pretty easy thing to do.
4. Cat Run. It is sloppily told, makes little sense and before long you will find that you really don't care. Once you realize that they aren't going to give you enough of a story to matter, why bother? I found myself instead being distracted by just watching the visuals in the screen. They had a certain commercial sheen to them that was decent enough. Oh yes, the movie also has D.L. Hughley as a war veteran triple amputee receptionist. Yes, you read that right. So, thin characters and a thinner story add up to a movie that I just could not connect with. It happens.
3. Sanctum. People go into a big hole. Yell at each other, fight, and get trapped by rising water. Boring.
2. Red Riding Hood. This was just terrible. Looked like TV sets, acting was sub par, the story was bad and I never bothered to write about it.
1. The Roommate. What this comes down to is whether or not you have what it takes to endure the vapid CW sheen placed on a script with no substance. Can you deal with watching characters with no personality stagger down the predictable paths to an inevitable conclusion.