October 23, 2013

Horror-A-Day: Spiderhole

Today, today there was a definite chill in the air. The temperature dipped to the low 30's and there was a frost on the car windshield. I never like having to pull out the ice scraper before taking off for work. Sadly, this day comes every year. Now the chill is hear, we are officially out of shorts and t shirt weather. Well, the t shirts can stay. Now we can move onto the important stuff, it is still October and it is still horror season. Of course, horror season lasts all year. Bring it.

Most of the movies I have been watching this year have been from the deep past, plenty of 70's exploitation along some gothic turns from the 50's and 60's. This time I stepped into the more recent past. I went all the way back to 2010, but I did go across the pond and watched a movie from Ireland. Granted, I did not know that before I started I actually picked it because it was short, barely 80-minutes. It is called Spiderhole and comes courtesy of writer/director Daniel Simpson.

I did not like this movie. Of course I have seen worse and maybe this just entered my eyes at the wrong time. Still, Spiderhole just did not sit right. It is one of one things that thinks it is a good thing, but is a familiar mash of other familiar elements. It is like they go to the masquerade ball but forget their masks.

Spiderhole offers up a familiar setting. A small group of young people find themselves trapped in a small, secluded location, and find their is a killer already there, waiting to pick them off one by one. That is as deep as the movie gets. Exciting, no?

The movie feels like somebody watched Rent and thought it would be a perfect tale to mash up with something more like Saw or Hostel. No, the characters don't revel in being broke and having AIDS, well maybe the broke part. The four young people are arts students with no money. Rather than finding a place to love they can afford on meager means, they decide to squat. That's right. One of the characters even points out that it is unlawful but not illegal. Barely 15 minutes in and I already wanted them all dead.

Well, they all break into the abandoned old house, slap some locks on the inside, have sex, and then find a pile of bloody clothes. Hmmm, you'd think that would be a good indicator to get out. Nope. They all decide to sleep and then look around the house in the morning. As far as dumb characters go, these guys aren't too smart.

Well, hey wake up and find new locks on the doors and they cannot get out of the house. This leads to craziness, yelling, screaming, and clawing at wood panels. Then there is more screaming. Then they realize there is someone else in the house with them. The killer shows up, gets them o split p and then tortures them at his own pace.

There is nothing new here. Most of the real violence is offscreen. The characters are annoying. There just isn't much meat here. Frankly, I was bored and looked forward to the end, which came and went with little fanfare. I am also not much of a fan of Rent and those elements just kept me put off the whole time.

Oh yeah, I do not recall any spiders...

Not Recommended.

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