June 26, 2017

Movie Review: Gremlin (2017)

In 1984 a movie was released to theaters that has stood the test of time, spawned a sequel, tons of merchandise, and was partially responsible for the PG-13 rating. Unfortunately, that is not the movie at hand, that movie was, of course, Gremlins. The movie we have to deal with right now is one that would seem to be trying to cash in on name familiarity, but otherwise has absolutely nothing to do with the classic. This new movie is called Gremlin and really the only thing I found to be notable about it is the name.

June 25, 2017

Movie Review: The Midnight Meat Train

Let me start by saying that I am pretty disappointed that I did not get a chance to see this in a theater. That is not to say that it is a classic, but deserved more of a shot than it was given. The Midnight Meat Train was supposed to hit theaters nationwide way back in 2008. The problem is that, for whatever reason, the new head of Lionsgate did not like it, pulled it from the schedule and released to roughly 100 budget theaters. On top of that, they never told anyone what theaters they were, so if you wanted to see it, good luck finding it. Honestly, it should have gotten a push, it is certainly better than a lot of what passes for wide-release horror these days.

June 24, 2017

Movie Review: Wonder Woman (2017)

I am not exactly sure that I am going to have anything new to offer to the discourse on this film other than what has already been said. With that said, I guess I could start in the usual, controversial, fashion and say “Finally! DC has a good film in their new cinematic universe.” Wonder Woman is a legitimate excellent film, worlds ahead of Man of Steel, Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, and Suicide Squad. It is not perfect, but it is a truly entertaining film with good performances, a more focused story, It just works. It appears they weren’t trying to hard to make it large or overly complicated. It all feels organic more than planned. This is a good thing.

June 22, 2017

Movie Review: Night of the Strangler

Sometimes I watch a movie and when I consider writing about I have to really sit and think about how to start it and if I am going to have enough to say about said movie. This is one of those movies that I doubt I am going to have a lot to add to the discourse of said movie, but I figured I would try anyway. The movie in question is Night of the Strangler, a film saved by the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome. An oddity of a film that features a Monkee in a lead role and one that may have been completely forgotten about if not for the efforts of Vinegar Syndrome. This bare bones DVD release features a new 2K scan from original 35mm elements and while it does show its age, this is probably the best it’s looked since its 1972 release.

June 21, 2017

Movie Review: 47 Meters Down

It seems like shark movies are making a comeback, and no, I am not talking about SyFy outings like Three-Headed Shark Attack, Sharktopus, or even Avalanche Sharks. It appears the killer fish are once again making a killing on the big screen, following the success of last year’s Blake Lively fetish film, The Shallows, we now have 47 Meters Down, and next year we get to see Meg. Is it possible we are seeing the next golden age of sharks to rival the dawn of Jaws? Probably not, and I haven’t seen anything yet to top The Last Shark. Still, The Shallows was decent and I really enjoyed 47 Meters Down. It is far from perfect, but when it is on, it does the deed.

June 19, 2017

Movie Review: Wolf Creek 2

Way back in 2005 the screens were graced with a little movie called Wolf Creek. The film told the tale of an unfortunate group of tourists who entered the Australian Outback and never exited. It was a tale loosely based on an actual Australian serial killer and the movie proved to be quite satisfying, with its slow build and ever increasing sense of dread. The highlight was Mick Taylor, the resident killer, played like an offshoot of The Devil’s Rejects family by John Jarratt. The sequel took eight years to come out, but the wait was worth it. Wolf Creek 2 is a worthy follow up, taking what we know and just amping it all up. I may just like this one better.

June 18, 2017

Movie Review: Officer Downe

Have you ever thought what a riff on RoboCop and Judge Dredd directed by a member of Slipknot from a comic book source may look like? No? Well, why not? It doesn’t matter much, in case you are curious, such a beast actually exists. Officer Downe is one wild and weird movie. It is the movie that you will continue to watch, while trying to figure out what exactly it is supposed to be. Seriously, I found the movie to be quite entertaining, but when you try to figure it out, it is revealed to just be a complete mess. There does not seem to be a point to it and the story is show buried below the surface that it becomes a negligible element. The best choice would seem to be to just accept it for the surface and enjoy it on the level it is dead set to exist on, a cinematic oddity.

June 17, 2017

Movie Review: Bonejangles

What do you get when you combine a subpar slasher and a subpar zombie movie? Bonejangles, of course. Toss in a healthy dose of horror themed comedy and a not quite efficient level of exposition and you end up with a movie that is actually somewhat entertaining. It is funny, almost in spite of how mediocre the pieces are on their own, the movie still manages to entertain enough to be worthwhile. To take that a step further, I feel you could have had a good film if you picked one side and expanded that into a feature. With that said I do like the idea of combining the disparate elements, if not the execution.

Movie Review: America Has Fallen

When it comes to low budget, indie, genre film making, you are really taking your life in your hands. Well, it may not exactly be that dire, but so far as what you get, the results will vary, wildly. A lot of what you will see will not be good, filled with half baked ideas, bad scripts, and terrible acting, and that doesn’t even get to the special effects. Of course, there will be the occasional gem, and hopefully more than a few that exhibit some sort of competence and while they may not good, per se, offer some sort of bright spot or hope. The one thing we should all be able to agree on, they were made by folks who had an idea and were able to get it made, that should always be respected.

June 16, 2017

Movie Review: Tsunambee

With a title like Tsunambee, I was hoping for something along the lines of Big Ass Spider. Unfortunately, I could not be so lucky. I can forgive and enjoy low budget, cheesy, corny, silly movies if they manage to entertain, if they embrace what they are and just run with it. It is this reason that makes the Sharknado films as modestly entertaining as they are (even though I will never understand the popularity that series has achieved). Those films, by comparison, are absolute masterpieces next to Tsunambee, which has very little besides a clever title to go on. By the way, there isn’t anything resembling a tsunami in this movie to warrant that clever title. Surprised?

June 15, 2017

Opinion: Friday the 13th Legal Limbo

I don’t know where I’ve been for the past year, but I have just become aware of the legal battle that is surrounding the Friday the 13th franchise. And here I thought the problems with getting another film off the ground was the fact that the suits couldn’t come up with a good story. For the record, I am a fan of the remake and wish they had just started with a sequel to that one. In any case, this legal wrangling could have long lasting effects on one of the most enduring horror killers of all time.

June 14, 2017

Movie Review: The Answer

I watch a lot of movies of varying levels of quality and from a variety of genres. This is not to say I know any more about judging a film than you do. All I am trying to say is that I often come across films of unfulfilled potential. Movies that while not actually good, show some potential in their execution or in the story or in some way that indicates a filmmaker to keep an eye on. With The Answer you may have one of those filmmakers. The movie is quite unpolished and the story is not fully realized, but there is something about it that would indicate there is more there than a throwaway B-movie. Or I could be grasping at straws and this is the best it will ever be.

June 9, 2017

Movie Review: Peelers

Do you ever look at a description of a movie or watch a trailer and just know that you should stay away from it? Of course you have, we have all been confronted with a movie that seems so bland or derivative that they hardly seem worth your time. Peelers is one of those movies. Take the concept: strippers versus zombies. Hardly a fresh concept, it has been a number of times over the past few years, and I cannot say any of them have been all that entertaining. Peelers doesn’t change the trend and tends to the dry and boring side.

June 7, 2017

Movie Review: Karate Kill

Sometimes I long for the action movies of yesteryear. You remember, the action films that were not always preoccupied with global scale plots and an overabundance of CG effects. This is what makes films like the John Wick series so welcome. Those are films that keep the focus on the execution and entertainment value. If you dig into independent cinema,you can find what you are looking for, even if it does take awhile. The movie in question here is Karate Kill. Described as Tarantino meets Cannon, it is at apt description. The film sits firmly in the revenge action/exploitation corner of the universe.